Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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