you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
