I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
