Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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