No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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