I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
