the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my poor anus
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
