naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
this is an emotional support booty call
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
