Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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