My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
