so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
