He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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