Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
That's when you crack a 10am beer
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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