My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
