So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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