Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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