I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
