im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
