Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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