party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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