Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
