I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
