if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
