: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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