Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
