meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
