im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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