yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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