it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Someone signed my nipple.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
