you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize