I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
