Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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