There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
