are you still at the devil's house?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
