Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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