Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
