She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize