and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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