you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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