I just pynch a tree in the face
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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