Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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