I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And then he peed in my hair
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