I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize