I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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