love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
