He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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