Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Drake has all the answers
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
