Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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