I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
