dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
