God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
