I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm having to shit out rocks
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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