I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
