Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
