Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
