i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
