He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How's work?
Spinning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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