I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
