i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
